I'm more or less a thinker nowadays, you know, as I've finished all my work, i'll sit on my bed in my room and start to think about just anything that came across my mind. The key of what I was thinking is money. Why does all this got related to each other, i doubt that i can answer.
As I still haven't decided of what my future is gonna be, it's really depressing and stressing that I haven't really explored my potential to the max to make a living properly. Even though my earning is quite good, further i managed to save at least 1.5k a month, I know I could have done a lot much better.
I'm blessed to be able to quit my job and make a living by starting a messed-up business, so that I have more free time to think and write; something that I have never imagined myself doing. I hated writing since I was small, because I know there's nothing I can write about. When I was 12, i have problem in composing a 100-words-essay. Even in the Malay Language.
My writing is less structured, i know. It has never been focusing on what I am supposed to write. Portraying how messed-up my mind was, the more important thing is, I have actually thought of thousands of issues, in my head that I cannot actually express it out properly, especially in writing. Messed up with all the working papers, my blog, my letters to the authority regarding all the jobs, bla bla bla.. It's a total f*cked up.
Nah, lemme put things one by one.
Blog of the Dead
Remember i wrote about arfa adriana not so long time ago? The girl who has died of an unknown disease, and when I was passionately writing and digging everything about her, someone came up and asked me to stop all that. I don't mind because, yeah, I admit that sometimes things can just be too sensitive to some people. They were already sobbing in sorrow for the losses, and here I come to become a truthseeker; just to get to know the truth.
Now I may have found the answer of why am I so a busy-body and can't take things off my head.
I want the truth! About everything that doubted me!
Last time, I've got a lot of this kind of blog from my indon buddy, Kean, where he can still feel the warmth of love, of the blog owner who had died. And later he informed me about arfa adriana as well.
A few days back, Nashrex has posted about a girl Yna, who had just lost her sister and about a guy who manage to write a note before he passed away.
Both blogs have made me mourn in a way that, I feel like I was dreaming while awake. I can feel the sad weather around me, or maybe I'm just being emotionally driven by my fragile mind and heart. I don't feel like I'm alive. Yna, has posted a picture of her sister in a way that I feel so touched.
Anyway, the thrill is when I read the writing of the dead. He managed to go to the i-so-hated Indonesian Night. Clearly he's an Indonesian songs lover too. He had written about his life, love life, starting from his first love, second love and an unavoidable love of him and his own adopted sister, who happened to be muted since she was small, Sha is her name. He's even engaged to Sha but God must have loved him more than Sha did.
Significantly, I fell in love with the background songs of these blogs of the dead. How did I liked Siti at the first place? When I heard 'Kau Ku Sayang' in Arfa Adriana's blog. And now, it's "Pulang - Dewi Lestari", which really made all the things I read straightly penetrates my mind and heart. I'm gonna love that song too.
And I would pray to god, "Ajarkanlah Ilmu Tentang Cinta" (teach me everything about love), which I really need now. I may have the same experience like that guy.
The so beloved Mawi of you guys
Wake up! Let's get back to life. Another issue that was written by Nashrex was about Mawi and Diana Rafar. Hehe. Not that I liked Mawi, but i just think that Mawi has started to forget his true himself.
- Mawi's engaged someone
- Diana Rafar is a girlfriend of someone else (Zamarul)
- Mawi denied when people say that he likes Diana
- Diana also denied, of course especially when she already has a bf.
Here's the catch. Mawi went fishing, manage to catch fish and send it over to Diana Rafar's house, as early as 6AM in the morning. Crazy. Who's crazy? Is Mawi is crazy, as he's out of his mind, or he's just crazy about that supra (pronounced as supgha) cutie Diana Rafar?
Further, Maestro warned Diana about the fuss but the fact is, Mawi himself boasted about all the things happened between him and Diana. Pity the fiancee in Kulai. I can replace Mawi if you want hehe. And now, maestro even want to be the mediator between Zamarul, Mawi and Diana Rafar.
I would like to say that, Maestro should sometime stay off other people's problem.
My View :: I'm honest this time. As Mawi is a Kampung Boy, and I myself used to be a kampung boy, we would show our appreciation to people like that,just like how Mawi did it. When some nice people come over to my place, i'll greet them nicely, smile as wide as possible, so it can reach my ears, not to mention my butt. Be supernice, if the langsat tree is fruitful, I'll climb it up and get the langsat, pack 'em nicely so that the guest can take it back with them. If i caught fish from the water pass, i'll spare them to my guest as well.
Maybe Mawi is just doing the same thing, being nice to people who just had been so nice to him. I think Mawi were just being honest, being himself, being a kampung boy, so he cannot wait to give the fish, so that he had to hand it over to Diana as early as 6AM. Hahahaha..
Come on guys, I'm not crazy of Mawi, not even to like him, but, as having my natural nature of a Kampung Boy, he may have acted like a nice Kampung Boy. We appreciate everyone who had been nice to us. And if Diana did not get it, pity her for being so heartless.
Whatever it is, only Mawi and Diana (and Allah) that knew everything about it.
about :: Yasmin Ahmad
The gossip that has been around for quite sometimes, which I think is quite true as it has been strengthened with the before & after pictures. It has been discussed in forums here and there.
From a quite trustful and close source, which had been telling me that Zulkiflee Ahmad, the actual name of Yasmin Ahmad was a singer at her young age. She was the 1st runner up in the Bintang RTM competition back in 1975. I would say she's adorable as she can sing, play guitar and piano, so it's really like someone i wanted to be.
When she went to study oversea, she had proven that she's been racely indiscriminative by giving her whole scholarship to a Chinese boy to continue his study when she was in UK.
About her choice to become a woman, from what i read from the forums, she was a hermaphrodite, and after referring to the Islamic Council, she opted to become a real women. Wallahu'alam.
She used to work in the Leo Burnett for doing the advertising, which most of the Petronas TV advertisement were made by them. She has a master degree, so don't play play..
From that source, I was told, Yasmin Ahmad is a real woman at heart...
As Zulkiflee Ahmad on the album cover, back in the 70s.
Now, Yasmin Ahmad she is.She's someone that i could be proud of, a diamond in the midst of coals, I would say...
* This post is intended not to humiliate or to harm her in anyway. It's merely intended so that we will end up all the wonders in our head. Please, love her and respect her as all other people that we all know. She really deserves who and where she is now. We should all be proud of what she had done for us.
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