February 28, 2007

untitled document

In specific, memang takde apa yang nak ditulis selain nak merapu-rapi di samping cipan tercinta.

Eh mana pulak datang cipan ni. Oh yer, dia ganti babi kejap. Babi pegi berak. Nanti dia datang balik.

(baca dengan suara wazata zain)

Baiklah kawan-kawan. Hari ni kita bercerita about challenges in life. As for me, I'm fine with challenges. People face challenges everyday. I face challenges too, as without it, saya mungkin bosan nak mati.

(ok sudah, baca dengan suara sendiri)

Hari ini, termasuklah semalam, saya telah memulakan sesuatu setelah saya dicabar oleh seseorang..

"Kalau kau anak jantan, aku cabar kau jadi babi sekarang jugak"

Eh silap ni.. silap citer nih.. salah buku.. sorry..

"Jom diet. Kita bet, sape lagi berat, dia kena bla bla bla bla...."

The blablabla part is too explicit to share.

Cabaran Diet sambil Berpuasa Sambilan

Saya juga agak tebal sekarang ini. Saya suka ejek boyfriend adik saya tebal kerana dia memang sangat tebal. Kalau buku tu, adalah dalam 1600 mukasurat kertas 80gsm. Semasa di Penang juga, ketebalan saya terutamanya dia bahagian perut telah berjaya meraih takhta yang selama ini dipegang oleh adik ipar saya yang agak hitam itu.

Tapi takpe, kalau challenge tebal dengan adik dan adik ipar saya yang sedang mengandung itu, sure saya kalah dengan diorang.

Jadinya sekarang ini saya sedang diet untuk menurunkan berat badan especiallynya yang kat perut tu. Dah macam perut beruang. Ada ke masa lalu kat tepi hutan tu, beruang tu panggil saya dari jauh...

"Abang Loooooooooooong? Mak panggil. Dia tanya sape berak dalam sinki..!"

Teruk betul. Ada ke patut. Dah la ingat saya beruang pastu tuduh saya berak dalam sinki. Gile keji beruang tuh..

Patut ke? Patut ke? Muka saya ni ada muka orang berak dalam sinki ke? Kencing dalam sinki adala..

Dulu2 kan masa zaman2 sekolah, ada 2 ekor manusia beruang di sekolah. Sorang lelaki sorang perempuan. Yang lelaki tu nama dia Yasin. Panggil dia Mat Beruang je. Yang perempuan tu nama dia Haryati kot. Lupala.. Tapi nickname dia kita panggil dia Beruna.

Hehehe.. Maksudnya Beruang Betina..

Macam biasala. Ada orang kita gelar Mat Beruk, yang perempuan kita gelar Bena. Mat Mengkarung, yang perempuan kita panggil Mengkana. Senang je sifir dia. Yang jantan tambah Mat, yang betina tambah 'Na'.

Cuba try test tikus. Mat tikus dengan Tina. Hahahaha. Kelakar macam cipan. Babi pun dah tak best dah. Takpe dia masih berak.

Kita cuba Tenggiling plak. Mat tenggiling dengan Tenggina? Hahaha. Lagi cam tenuk kaler hijau. Kalau Mat Tenuk dengan Tena. Hmm.. x best langsung.

Kita cuba Monyet plak. Mat Monyet dengan err errr silap ke ni? Mona?

So Mona ni sebenarnya monyet betina la ni? Hahahaha. Nasib baik Mona Fandey dah kena hukum gantung. Kalau tak sure disumpahnya saya jadi Tengginyet; Tenggiling + Monyet.

Ngeri siot. Tak dapat bayangkan kalau saya makan semut. Yucks! Makan pisang okay la lagi..

Haaa.. dah tu, jangan nak memandai nak panggil Mat Cipan dengan Cina plak. Marah orang cina nanti. Jangan marah saya yer. Marah orang yang panggil itu. Sumbat mulut dia dengan tanah liat atau cd-rom.

Tapi kalau babi, dia lain sikit sebab dia haram. So dia special sikit, jadi untuk babi betina kena tukar jadi babina. Jadinya Mat Babi dengan aweknya Babina. Bunyik dia macam babyrina la plak. Taiko mesti suka. Begitu juga Lego.

Aiseh, dah lari topic ni.

My initial weight before the challenge is 73kg. With my height of 173cm, i think i'm just bloated with all the food my mom feed me everyday. Who to blame? My mom kah? Not fair? I can opt not to eat the food she cook, but as a good son, would you dare to do that?

Most of the time, I'm fat because of the love to my mom. If I'm away from her, everytime I got back home, she will cook, even though tak sedap, it will automatically become sedap as i'm hungry and those are things I would never easily find off home.

Itu belum love to the wife. Afdlin Shauki yang Maha Tebal pun pasti akan tewas dengan ketebalan saya kelak.

Other than that, I'm slowly picking up salsa. Actually, i've been looking forward for salsa classes for long-long time ago. Last Friday Night, I went to Havana Club and tried it out. It's not that hard but one good thing about it was, I was sweating like hell. Seluruh badan basah, lutut semuanya basah. Lubang buntut juga agak basah. Agak sukar juga mengawal diri dalam keadaan basah terutamanya bila berpeluang menari dengan amoi newbies yang comel, cun dan irresistable. Slurrrppp....

Nasib baik pada malam itu saya berniat baik dan mulia. At last, i bathed before going to bed, alone.

Now i'm trying my best to reduce my weight. Someone has really inspired me to do so. At least, i must get rid of this tummy.

Wismilak guys!

* wismilak adalah sejenis jenama rokok di Republik Indon.

February 26, 2007

Penang?

I was having my weekend since 16th till today. Panjang giler weekend. What a week of doing nothing except for resting, food and jalan-jalan. I was like makan all the way. Makan until bloated, feel like pooping all the time & letting others to enjoy my smelly fart. There were a few times I farted in the elevator. Imagine that. No one is able to runaway. Pure satisfaction of a farter (pengkentut).

As I'm going to Penang, I bought myself and 9 other family members train tickets at Tampin. We'll be going up from KL to Butterworth. Last time, the train was from Singapore but maybe due to economical reason and so many more reason, they shorten the journey. I was thinking that it's not going faster but slower actually. Last time, I took the train from Butterworth at 8 o'clock in the morning and arrived in Tampin at around 4.30 or 5.00 in the afternoon but nowadays, 8.10AM from KL and only arrive in Butterworth at around 3.30PM. Quite a lot of difference there. Journey of KL to Tampin will actually took 2++ hours.

The going up journey was fine. A lot of aweks around that I can just see and do nothing because if I was to chat with these girls, what would my brother in law do then? So i just look at them and pretending not be interested in them. Cheh macam bagus je I ni. In fact those girls are not interested in me pun. They don't even look. Maybe if I hold a cat or dog, then only they'll be saying ::

a. comelnya kucing tu. sama dengan tuannya.
b. eh anjing haram.. nasib baik tuan dia x haram..
c. nasib baik anjing. kalau babi? haram betulla tuan dia nih....

pilih la mana korang nak jawab. aku don't mind.

A. In the train.
B. Arrived in Butterworth already.
C. Queueing before getting on the ferry.
D. On the ferry.

As we arrived in Penang, the Naza Hotel's van is waiting for us. We headed straight to my Brother's house in Bukit Gambiaq. It's actually Bukit Gambir. My sister in law already prepared us the Pasemboq, the ordinary rojak we usually found together with cendol in KL. Perasan tak? Aiseh, itu pun taktau. Dah tua pun bodoh. Hahahahaha!

Sadly, that night, we were having food crisis. I was so hungry that I ate without looking to the left or right, apatah lagi to the front and the back. Suddenly my pregnant sister voiced out that she's still hungry even though she had eaten. Actually makanan tak cukup. Ok-oww.. we've got 2 pregnant people in the house! Later me, my bro and my bro in law went out to restoran Kayu for late dinner. Seperti yang di dalam gambar, 2-2 sama je hitam.

We did nothing much the next day except for having fun at my brother's condo's swimming pool. Ada gelungsur siot. Best giler. Kalau tak pandai main memang tak sampai ke bawah. Selalunya, in the middle of the slide, my father will just stand up and walk down. Kesian.

Click for bigger image
Sorrylah. The images were so taken by the amateur. Obviously not me. Babi lagilah. Mana sampai kaki dia yang pendek itu.. So, in the afternoon, we checked in into Naza Hotel. We took 2 executive suites and booked the BBQ place for the night. My brother ponteng kerja. So unluckyla my bro, to buy the MC he gotta pay RM100. Aduish. Makan babi pun lagi murah ini macam. Teruk betul la penang. Woi penang cekik darah woi.. Well, then we went out to somewhere near Batu Feringghi and we had the BBQ later at night. Macam biasala, the cook has never got the chance to enjoy the food. Sape lagi jadi cook. Tak caya tanya Taiko. Kawan2 yang keji seperti mofaz, mizan dan joe turut hadir. Mereka hanya berjaya tiba setelah semua orang naik atas.

That night, those fellas went back at 3AM. Me and my bro in law continued our chit chat till 5AM. zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ...

click image to view bigger image

The next day, I woke up late to find out that my preggie sister in law queued up to buy the ticket to get up to Penang Hill, or Bukit Bendera dalam bahasa Melayunya. Bahasa Malaysia ke Melayu eh? Sepatutnya Bahasa Melayu, Inggeris, Cina dan India dinobatkan sebagai Bahasa Malaysia. Kan? Don't u think so?

Berbalik kepada cerita tadi, on the way up to Penang Hill, while waiting for the time of departure, me, the husband of my sister and my sister's in law uncle (ha amik ko.. kalau korang x berbelit kepala otak nak fikir) lepak at the outside of the place and all of a sudden we saw this foregn workers as all of us thought he was weirdly distracted us. All of us were like dalama keadaan tergamam yang tidak sedar diri bila mamat tu (who i believed from Myanmar) mengambil gambar.

Why?

He was wearing a short sleeve yellow batik. Tucked in. Orange tie. Jeans with construction shoes. And worse. He posed like a monkey.

Hmm.. i was about to take his picture as he rushingly walked out of the place. Otherwise, he'll become the major headline in this blog i'm assuring you. Bahan giler babi. Babi pun kalah dengan dia. Monyet vs babi. Sape agaknya menang?

Petang, after checked out, we went to padang kota. Best gak. Tapi hujanlah. Jadi lah tak best. Tapi yang agak best ialah, saya kena bayar semua makanan. Best giler. Adalah dalam 20 orang punya makan. Saya hanya makan sotong kangkung, nasi goreng, mee sup dan air 3 gelas sahaja. Tak banyak. sikit aje tu. cukup untuk menjadi ular sawa masa dalam keretapi nanti.



We went back to KL by train at around 10.30 from Penang. Dalam train gua makan lagi beb. Nasi Goreng pattaya pukul 1 pagi dan nasi lemak pukul 6 pagi lepas semayang subuh dalam train tu. hehehe.

We managed to arrive in KL around 8.30 in the morning. This was Farah's first time journey on train. As for me, I'm so used to travel by train when i was smaller. I think the tickets were cheap. Ten of us, back & forth, costed me not more than RM600. No traffic jam, we can move around in the train, can smoke, and next time, maybe i'll get myself a first class nite coach. With a girlfriend or two. Hehe. Orgy on train. Sape pernah buat cakap dengan aku. Mesti xde punya..

February 14, 2007

I hate CSI

FIRSTLY :: Happy Valentine's Day to those who's celebrating it and I'm single.

Hahahaha~~~~ (nyanyi macam lagu lagu BPR kat karaoke tu)

I know maybe some of you are just crazy about this series. Name it, the original, the Miami, the New York, what ever it is. Nasib baik takde CSI : Babi. Hahaha!

But I just hate it (or them, but I don't hate babis).

For no reason why, my hunger for TV just turned off whenever there's CSI was being aired on TV. For me, there's nothing more than just lies and bluffs in that series. Babi pun tak pandai menipu. Baik betul hati babi itu.

If those americans are really good, why until now they cannot solve the watergate's case, kennedy's murder, the 911 tragedy and whatsoever.

There were only speculations and theories that lie around us. People make assumptions and whatever. Some people were just being so stupid to believe and to let their to be sacrificed in the war in Iraq. Luckily they sent human. If they sent babi? How? I see the Americans do a lot of wonders but most of the time, they are just being stupid or maybe they're forced too. Maybe the babi knows. I don't know.

But I really wonder why some of us just love these lies. And in some way they're just affected with all that.

Just recently I met a girl who loves watching CSI so much that she will update me with all the latest techniques of investigation the CSI is introducing. And oh yeah, I intended that it should be "we're just friends". Babi can be my friends too, tapi jauh2 sikit yer.

But she's just being a lil bit of 'babi' in the sense that she cannot accept me as just a friend. Apatah lagi sebagai fling atau lebih dikenali dengan 'BITCH'. Babi tak?

Babi giler.. hahaha..

And then... as a common thing that I observed, those who love CSI is that, they're all very the hell investigative. What the hell is that. I know babi is Haram yang sangat Mughallazah but I don't think they will go to hell. Only human beings will.

She loves to read all my messages and starting to freak me out with all her 'NO ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION' questions.

And start to investigate this and that. Make calls.. Tried to hack my yahoo account. Tried to close my blog. Read my smses. And a lot more of things that I cannot imagine which of that ideas purely came from the CSI. She think just like the detective in CSI.

I'm sick of that. And the same thing happens with my a few last 'I used to her' girlfriends. Maybe worse and maybe a little less than this.

SAME THING HAPPENS EVERYTIME!

It makes me sick like to puke. But a fact that really has made even much sicker is that these girls loves CSI! Uwekkk!...

AND THEY ALL LOVES CSI TOO! F*CK

* Semalam saya jumpa encik COP yang babi. Dia dtg JB naik babi. Hahaha. Dia memang babi sebab dia tukar engine kereta satria dia kepada EVOII GSR dan tak babitau saya. Hahaha.

** Let's pray for Diva's friend, Mona and Haris who had just caught in an accident. Hope there's no babi involved. Tak jadi mascot nanti diorang.

February 12, 2007

Any idea?

I do have no idea about what's happening around nowadays. I've been avoiding TV news, newspapers and everything that has got to do with the news. No news no nothing. I have no babi news also for the last weekend. Babi is sleeping well nowadays. Nenas may have raised up babi-babi's sexual drive that it has driven them to a higher level of sex satisfactory that babi-babi were having rest on weekends.

The latest thing that I've been accidentally heard on TV yesterday was about the police is going to have more permanent watch towers on most of the major highways. I wonder why can't they just leave this thing alone.

Me, being so freak and weird have always got a different view about it.

It's not safe at all, especially for the policemen who has been assigned to be on duty in these watch towers. What are actually in the mind of these so called politicians that is ruling the government now?

A crashed by car phone booth


I used to see, and maybe some of u did too, seeing people crashing on the traffic lights, into the drains, street lamps and even the pillar of the flyover. Don't u think that someday maybe a car or a lorry might hit on these towers and those police who were up there got no time to escape unless to jump off the tower and throw himself down to the ground.

Even helicopters will be happy to crash on these towers.


For me, if drivers are allowed to be driving as fast as they want, all the other drivers will be alerting themselves to watch out for fast approaching cars from behind. Who drives slowly will surely keep to the left, for being afraid that the fast cars will hit on them.

People were just love it when they have to hit the lamp post. Probably he was trying to avoid another car. Errr.. drunk maybe?


Slow cars should be fined for driving at the right lane.

Malaysian Drivers are just out of their mind!

I'm saying that because, only yesterday, there were a few incidents that I'm pretty sure, if not because of my awareness and agility while driving, accidents will happen and I don't think I would be able to write my blog today. Only for last night, there were 3 incidents involving stupid, self-centered and ignorant drivers. I just can't believe these drivers cannot see such a big 4-wheelers like my nissan frontier and yet they were about to hit on that 4-wheeler of mine.

What's wrong with these people? What's wrong with the malaysian drivers? I have to state my a bunch of respects towards the Indonesian drivers, as I've been there for quite a few times, they are wonderful drivers. They know when to let other people go and they are sure of what they're doing.

Malaysian drivers? There was this one time, my parked car was blocked from behind and I was honking for a few minutes before the chinese lady came down and walked towards the car, started the engine and ciao, without waving at me or whatever. Don't say apologizelah, she didn't even look at me.

At that moment, I made a conclusion, she was deaf and she didn't know that I was waiting for her car to be moved away so that I can reverse my car.

Then there come another malay fella ignorantly parked behind mycar, replacing the previous car and as he started to walk away from his car, I went out and tell him nicely,

"Bang, saya nak keluar"

You know what. He says "Kejap"

And I was waiting for another almost 20 minutes before that guy turned back up but apologizing for making me wait.

"Sorry eh. Saya berak tadi. Sakit perut. Tak tahan...."

Ada butul ka?

Yesterday, a lady driver, wearing a tudung taking me off from the left and I'm pretty sure she will hit the nearest lamp post if I didn't flee my car to the right and worse, I was almost hitting a motorbiker who was approaching from behind.

Later, there were 3 self-centered singaporean mat-rempit with big bikes ignorantly parked their bikes in the middle of the entrance road to a parking space where people parked their cars to eat-in at the restaurant. I was about to get out of the parking space and was waiting for the bikes owners to move their bike. After waiting and honking for 2-3 minutes, then come an indian who was one of the car-wash workers there pushed the bikes forwards until one of the owner prohibits him from touching his bike.

I was boiled off to the max! They were just sitting by their bikes and how come they did nothing when i was honking like mad, asking for the bikes to be moved away. What's wrong with these people man? I should have stepped on my pedal, hit on those bikes and drive over it with that big 4-wheeler of mine.

I did say Lancau and pukimak to them last nite. You know why? I told them not to park their bikes like that. What they say?

"Boleh keluarkan? Boleh keluar lu keluar la"

I just can't hold it. They were looking at me, when I was about to get down my car, of which the indian guy asked me to drive on. Again, if I did that, I'm sure my face is all around the Malaya for hitting people in the public. Such a nice free publicity. I was about to get my hitman iron underneath my seat. Can u imagine that?

I was imagining myself chopping them into pieces and feed the babi with it. Astaghfirullah.

Apa la lu, tak habis-habis dengan babi. Tapi gua geram ni babe.

It was the worst as I was drifting for nothing when I was avoiding a crossing kap-chai coming from the right to the left; on that main expressway from Skudai to JB. I was scared like hell! I avoided that bike by steering maximumly to the left but my backend tail was going to the right and I turned the steering back to the right and the car moved sideways to the front till I stepped on the accelerator and the brake to cut the drift off. Huiyo. Babi pun terbalik la kalau drift macam ni.....!

I took my breathe. Deeply. The kap-chai had gone and I was alone in the middle of the night trying to calm myself down. Thank god that I'm safe with my safety belt on. Lucky also there was no incoming traffic. But I thank god for another one thing.

That Nissan Frontier is able to drift! Tanpa terbalik! Hahahahaha! Magic kan?

February 8, 2007

I've made a mistake...

I think i've made a mistake yesterday. A big one. Gosh. I've got nowhere to do and a friend suggested me to go and put the tint film on the Nissan Frontier. I think it would be a kewl idea though. The Frontier's screens were quite wide and big so that the car is always so bright and hot.

I went to one of my regular accessory shop and asked about the tint thingy and the price. None of my regular people is free so I had to deal with this one new people. After agreeing to Rm200 for doing the film tint for the whole car and the guy promised me to settle everything by 4PM as I've got another thing to do.

He asked me, is it 5%? I as thinking that it's gonna be 5% dark so i said yes. He opened up all the door cover and all of a sudden he left for another car. Of course I'm stucked there because, why should i put it all back.

By 3.30PM, none of my windscreen was being done. Shit. Babi betul. I looked at the guy, he looked like a babi already. I think maybe the babi's datuk does look like him. When I asked him, when are u gonna do my car, and he said,

"Nanti dulu aaaaaa"

I kept nagging the manager and at last he asked the person who regularly served me all this while. I asked him, "Kenapa dia talak bikin ini kelija?"

He answered, "Itu memang babi punya olang. Adik tauke".

So that guy did the four door so fast that I'm going out soon. As I drove around afer that, then only i realize.

"Gelapnyerrrrrrrrrr". You can see the difference between the screen without the tint film and the one with. A lot of different. But i feels better inside. More comfortable but when I look from the outside....

Tadaaaa! Mampus gue. Mampus. That 5% is not the flm density. It's the percentage of the light coming in. And it's only 5%. Harap2 xdela polis trafik yang membaca blog ini dan memburu kereta saya.

Walaubagaimanapun, kereta saya tetap gagah dan bertambah jelita disebabkan film tinted hitam legam itu. Actually, it's not that black. It's more towards very dark brown that it looks like black.

Mesti gua jadi buruan polis lepas ni. Dulu gua jadi buruan pasal bawak smuggled car. Hehe.. Sape lagi yang dulu2 pun sama macam aku drive kereta smuggle tu, janganla malu2 angkat tangan hahahaha! Hehehe.. I know what you did last raya Taiko..

The only way to survive is to wind down all the screen when driving during the day. Good for you too because we need fresh air after smoking in the car. And more, the smells will go away. I always do that. If you see me in my frontier with all the windscreen down, i was just finished smoking and i'm heading back home. Kantoi nanti. Mampus aku kena karate dengan bapak aku. Yelah, umur dah 30 tahun tapi mak bapak aku, entahla ek, tau ke tak aku ni isap rokok.

Another danger that you might tempah (booking) when you wind down all your screen is that the probability of babi to jump in into your car. Very dangerous and haram mughallazah. Eh silap. Najis mughallazah. Especially my car had just brought the pineapple trees alst few days, it's true that babi had come and attacked out the pineapples in kampung.

It was not only babi, the monkey also came. They pulled out the trees. Luckily my cousin is there everyday to monitor. But no babi was found. Monkey also not found. Punk not dead.

Long live rock..!

February 3, 2007

Cabaran Nenas

Ya betuuuuuulll....!

Cabaran Nenas (Pineapple Challenge) had just begun. The challenge is to plant 1000 newly breed pineapple plants to ground. This time, we plant it on the clay soils.

Sound crazy kan? Yeah! Mana ada orang tanam nenas kat tanah liat. Tanah gambut adala. Tapi takpe. This is one of the crazy idea that I was thinking of doing. There were some people were laughing at us, especially the orang-orang kampung but this what I'm trying to do and prove to people that, agriculture is not a joke.

So, here is my first Nenas project after the lemon grass project few months back, planted in my hometown (should we say town eh?) in Melaka. I'm going to plant more and more pineapples. Consider this experimental.

Yang mulo-mulo sekali, kono la buek gaghih2 macam bateh. Ekcelli, takdo bateh pun sobab tanah clay ni dah koghing lopehtu kogheh nak mampuih macam baghu lopeh sapu minyak lintah joman eh. Joghan nak nyangkul eh. Buek lughuih2. Baghu la elok ghupo eh nanti.

Lepas tu, kena pecahkan dare dulu beb. Hehe.. Buat lubang besau2 biau muat pucuk nenas tu. Seperti jugak maknusie, saiz pucuk nenas juge ade pelbagai rupe dan bentuk. Ade yang tebal, ade yang nipis. Ade yang lurus ade yang bengkok. Ade jugak yang panjang dan ade jugak yang pendek. Kejadian tuhan kan. Seeloknye lobang biau besau sikit. Senang. Besau kecik panjang pendek boleh masuk. Janji masuk kene tanah baru akau die boleh menjalau macam ulau dalam belukar atas pagau masuk gue kelawau. Hehehe..

Selepaih bebeghapa lama, aku pun naik penat. Jadi, aku sembang2 sat, ambik gambaq sat, lepaihtu aku sambung kgheja balik na. Penat dah tu. 3 bangih tu dah nak macam nak mampuih dah. Mula2 tu kami buat kgheja ber3.

Lepah tu, date pulooook soghe lagi. Pennak nok nunggu dier maghi. Lambak sunggouh. Kato nok balik betar, nak saling baju. Beghok dier! Kalu make, habish doh 2 pingge. Hok ni namer dio aliazak. Namo glemer dier kajak! Mung tengok tuh peghuk dio. Besor hok dio lagi daghi aku. Hehehe.

Ini pule alelah lua olang hangber yang sung-nguh kedji. Seolang selang menggali lopang. Seolang lagi selang menlihat olang menggali lopang sampil mempegang pokok nanas itu lengan tangan. Lua olang butak ini sangat pandai muat kileje. Itu pasat muker lia ala manyak hitam. Yang busat itu apang. Yang kicik itu, alik. Apang alik. Apang nama apit. Alik nama apit. Haiya.. macam sama nama. (actually sorang hafiz sorang hafiq)

"Udah?"

"Udah beres pak. Semuanya pak. Satu ribu anak pokok pak."

"Waduh, lama sungguh ya. Jam berapa dimulain tadi?"

"Jam setengah 3 pak (2.30pm). Hampir 4 jam lamanya pak. Capek ni pak. Ada airnya enggak?"

"Waduh. Udah yam setengah tujuh ini. Yuk. Pulang. Mahu solat! Minum di rumah aja!"

"Kami belum mandi wajib pak. Mau mandi dulu yach. Hehehehe...!"

Penat giler beb. Badan gua memang bengkok habis. Lu tengok tu gua sepatutnya berdiri kepuasan melihatkan hasil titik peluh gua dengan bangganya. Tapi lu tengok. Nak berdiri pun x larat beb. Yang paling penat sekali ialah masa gua nak buat lobang tu. Kalau yang berair tu, laju je dia masuk. Sekali celup aje terus masuk 4-5 inci. Kalau yang kering, puas nak godek2, adjust2 sikit, buat putaran gaban dan sebagainya. Bayangkan la 1000 pokok, Tak ke 1000 lobang tu. Bayangkan la kalau seribu lobang boleh ke korang layan?

Tapi 4 jam tu termasuk la waktu rehat + buat lawak babi. Nasib baik babi tak datang. Kalau babi datang, penat nak lari lagi. Dah la penat buat line, buat lobang, tanam pokok pastu penat buat lawak babi lagi. Tula sape suruh seru babi. Kesimpulannya, jangan buat lawak babi masa tanam pokok. Kalau tak babi datang sekarang, mungkin dia datang kemudian dan makan pokok. Kalau tak pun, mungkin pokok tu akan berbuah bentuk babi. Kalau dah berbentuk babi haram pulak nak makan. Rugi aje tanam. Nanti kena buang dalam sungai pulak. Tapi jangan sampai kena tangkap. Orang kena tangkap buang bayi, kau kena tangkap buang babi.

Penatla. Aku bercerita pun penat. Gila keji punya penat. Babi pun keji. Babai.

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