August 15, 2005

JB at 0355 hours :: I'm in dilemma...

Still awake and unable to get to sleep.

At the time of most of the people hardly getting a job, I am flooded with job offers, including two from the UK.

What should I do?

I'm standing in the middle of a life junction. A junction of a lot of way to be chosen.

As my previous business was about to reach to a failure due to miscommunications, (and it still happened tonite), for the past 2 months, I've been worrying of myself for not getting any income till it caused me to delay in paying my loans. Even my credit cards.

So, I've commited myself to another effort to make money of course. Even though it hasn't made any money yet, I believe that this another business will work just fine.

Besides all that, 2 companies from UK called me all the way from London to ask me to work with them. Not to mention some companies in Malaysia, even Motorola called me for a senior position. The UK companies assured me of getting the work permit (even i don't think they will actually succeed).

Why now?

Furthermore, I'm running a supplying project that really a fast money maker. It has started this month and I'm gonna breathe easily for the next maybe 2-3 years.

And as I don't believe myself, I started to get involve actively in Network 21 thingy which would also involve me to comsume or to sell Amway products. I've met some successful people and this would enable to me to generate a passive income. This would be really helpful if I want to retire early. I find that this business is really amusing.

But really deep down inside, I'm still fancy to work. Working in IT is actually the best thing I can do for myself. And working won't actually stop me from doing the network 21 business and the log supplying business. I think Ogy was right. I maybe born to work in IT as that's really what I love to do. Get dirty with the programming codes is what i'm supposed to be doing.

I missed working. I mean working in IT. Doing business sometimes doesn't really make sense to myself. Even though i think that i will succeed in doing business, or even i can have the work and money freedom, I would still be longing to work in the IT field.

Right now, I'm just a homie person spending most of my time watching TV. No GF, even no friends in JB made it worse. At least if I've a gf, my life would be so much different then. I would have someone to call on the phone, to argue, to get angry, to miss, to cuddle, to what ever. I missed all that.

I'm missing a lot of things in my life. I used to be playing music, go jamming, singing. Now, no more. Maybe i'll go to karaoke in that small box, but it's different from singing in a playing band.

I used to go golfing. Even i hate going to Hard Rock for the people, i miss going there too. It's more towards seeing friends over there. Watching the live bands.

How I wish, I could spend my time with all those things I love to do rather than watching TV.

And to make it worse, more job offers coming in, not only to work in the IT, but also it came from the partners of the business that was about to come to a failure.

Last nite, I went to see them and i was highlighted with some mistakes that I did, which was accidentally happened, unexpected or unawared. I have to admit myself that, I may not be suitable to do all those things they require as I'm so use to work as a programmer, doing things my way, as I always took short cuts to make life much easier.

It's not working with doing business. But they were about to have me back to help them with a new project. I was myself confused as if I did a lot of mistakes, I think they should do the right thing by take me off the team rather then taking me back.

My mistakes are just small mistakes that would not fail the business, but it was treated as such a big deal. I can accept my mistakes, but I don't get it when they still want me to be in the team,

when i've already started to do other things. We've been not communicating for quite sometimes, and i thought that they've already put me off the team, as everything was unable to move and they keep quiet for the past 2 months.

I'm in a junction now. To make it even much worse, I've got a very lucrative job offer which about to pay me RM7k a month.

my options

1. to stay with my previous business team who failed but now made a comeback by involving big gun investors, grow up with them till to be getting listed, while still be doing the logs supply thing and network-21 amway activities.

2. accept the job offers in UK, but not to able to continue my logs supply project, but still would be able to proceed with my network 21 amway activities.

3. accept the local job offers and continue the logs supply project together with the network-21 amway activities.

4. stick with my current project, which this company will have a bright future to get logging areas, to be getting govt. projects as this company has a lot of political connections, and get myself into the business of writing as it will become a forest consultancy company, and i myself love writing, and can still proceed with my log supply project and network-21 amway activities.

help :: which one should i pick?

How I wish i have a girlfriend right now so I can ask her opinion on this. Because however, even though how hard i will fight for what i want, in the end, it will be the preference of whom i love so. It happened so many many times, and that simply tells why.

That'll surely make my life much easier for me. Have someone to help me on making choices and then would still be able to make someone happy.


* anyway, ejay from sabah was eliminated from Malaysian Idol tonite. WHAT A RELIEF!!!

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