April 13, 2005

I'm a big bully...!

It's really hot. It's was raining, the temperature outside was cold but i'm sweating. Not that i'm getting fatter (as I'm now just 62 kg) but maybe it's really hot in here.

Tuesday night has always been a night I'm waiting for. Really I am. On starworld, airing the missmatch series, which is sweet (as sweet as alicia silverstone whose starring it). It does always has the sweet surprises, which made me smile all night long.

These days was a messed sleeping nites for me. The worse was last night when I dreamt about someone whom I really cared and loved, met her, kissed her on her cheek and say I missed you. Then she covered me up with a blanket and asked me to just stay still there. I was awaken from my sleep then.

I had dreams about my life of sorrority. As a muslim I dun really gotta believe in dreams but those kind of dreams had really messed up my brain; even when I'm not sleeping.

The last weekend was somekind of a mourning weekend for me too. Bad leftovers of my house, then I gotta know that someone had lied to me and the worst was when when I was hoping that the weekend nite would be best when all of my siblings were together, one of my sister has not yet back at home.

It was all covered up by a good journey on the bus from JB to Seremban. I had a very long talk with someone I just knew an the bus, a chinese Mom from Seremban, who went to singapore seeking a job. We talk about almost everything, from her 3 daughters to things we do in life.

The weekend nite, I, Ikhwan, Ina and Izzat went to the movie, SAMARA. Hell my sister Ina was hell frightened and I was once nearly shouted when I felt something crippling up my shoulder while actually it was my sister's face try not to look at the movie screen. I was so happy, even though my sister was actually sick of the menstruation she was having.

The next day, I was already in JB and someone eventually called me, to ask forgiveness for what she did the past 2 weeks, should I forgive or not forgive?

Work is tight and hard. People are playing hard on me, but stick to the principal, hold as long as you can and when it's time to blow it off, shoot a real load of it!

Now, I'm just praying for my sister, Faizah, who is hospitalized, warded tonite, as she has just gone through an operation to remove her tonsils. Saw it, and were quite big too! She looks dizzy, and I felt sad for such a strong and grown up sister (I really mean it, she's really strong) to be lying on the hospital bed, warded and crying when she feel pain.

I love her so much, even though I'm such a big bully to her, I bullied her because I love her so much.

So does to all my other siblings, and even friends.

If I happened to bully you, that means I like u, or love u or even care about u.....!

Pray for her.... so she'll get well soon, so I can bully her again.....

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