November 14, 2004

I would like to take this opportunity to.....

Please allow me....

The last few days of fasting is really challenging my soul and mind. I'm now facing the real weather, it's hot and no longer raining in the afternoon. As for the last Thursday, things gone really bad for me as the night before, I was writing my last blog as I've to stay in the office to do a change in the production server. Breaking fast only with some dates and a bottle of water, I planned to have my dinner later.

As I've finished with my thing, I went back home, made some calls. especially to Farok asking where he's going tonite. Then my father also called asking me when am I going back to Seremban. So I decided to go back to Seremban the same nite, maybe after I went and spend some time with Farok and Hemsem.

Just I'm not sure when did I fell asleep, and I only woke up the next morning 6.30. It has passed the range of time to eat. Oh GOD!!.. I'm f*ckin hungry. Really hungry. I missed my promise with Farok, and I even didn't go back to Seremban as promised to my father.

I packed up all my things and drove off to Seremban. The traffic on the highway near Bangi was a bit frightening, I'm tired of the traffic jam, so I decided to take the old route back to Seremban. It was all fun, I vtec'ed as many time as I want, it's just that my car cannot get the desired heat as the route was through the forest and the weather was cold. It's not performing really well.

The whole day was tiring. As I arrived, I followed my parents to the market. I was like fainting as the result of no drinks and food since tuesday. Then to KL with my father, and get back home, looking for a new freezer. The 2 years old freezer seems not to be working fine anymore.

Then as usual, before such festival celebration, we'll clean up the house, cook, bake cakes and cookies, cook rendangs, buy lemangs and so many more. The last nite of Tarawih seems nothing much for me, except that, the feeling of the month that is going to leave us was quite saddening. The last nite of doing tadarrus with the whole family seems as usual till Abang Bakri came over and we talked about a lotsa things.

Kak Ani mentioned about my cousin who's just gonna get his second child. And she mentioned if I was married, I'll be having the second one as well, hehe.. I was just smiling.


It's the eve of Raya, again. There's a lot of things been mingling over my tired mind. Even though fasting at home is much more makin me thirstier and hungrier, at least I can do my fasting in a better condition, holier thinking, pure mind without external distraction that will waste my fasting. Ya know leave in KL, there's nothing that u are keen not to see. Everything was like 'MESTI TONTON' (must-watch) campaign by NTV7. I'm dumb if i ain't be looking into a girl wearing short skirt. I might be a non-appreciative if my eyes weren't exploring the shape of a pretty sexy lady, and I'm a gay if don't look at girls at all!!!

Well, it's the feeling again. Feeling of being apart of this world, apart from all other people who just got their own way of living, better life with someone they cared very much. I used tp have friends who were just there anyime we would be in need of 'em. Just name 'em, ROmdzi, Wira, Hemsem, Omen, Lego, Farok & Taiko, some of them even willing to sacrifice their holidays just to make myself happy in the ward of a hospital. I'm aware I myself wouldn't be able to do such thing in return.

The misery of having the same feeling over and over again has been haunting me just as when I recite the Takbir of Eid. How I wish it supposed to be done in a different way, different place and different people. I haven't gain control over things. Thing has gain control over me. I was easily overwhelmed by new achievements, old sentiments and feelings.

I went to the mosque and followed the Takbir Group from a house to another, It was not as fun as I normally do in my Village Hometown. It's really boring but guess I've to take care of my father's/mother's felling. I told them that I'm gonna be back to the village and they happened to be not so happy about it.

Here are some pictures..

I'm getting much much sleepy by now. Nite... da!

* I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very Selamat Hari Raya...

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