December 16, 2005

The problem with being 'Loyar Burok'

I was always regarded as Loyar Burok since I was just 11 years old. Loyar Burok (Burok not as faizin's mother name, but burok as ugly) can be simply defined or described as being unserious, and trying to fool, make fool and to be funny most of the time.

Schooling in town formerly, with a lot of students, students were then divided into a few classes, which normally will accordingly be grouped by the exam's result ranking. I was put in the 'Smart Kids' class, which the kids are more so-called-civilized, over-behaved and never know how to be funny. The only funny things to them is when I was gossipped with a lot of girls, which of course made me embarassed till I cried!

I was schooling in my hometown back then, when I was introduced to a bunch of 'Kampung' (sub-urban) kids who taught me of cursing and being funny in the class. I'm going to tell that it's really fun being uncivilized. A lot of new words, beside situated on the border of Melaka and Negeri Sembilan's additional vocabularies. For Malaysian, I hope u know how Melaka people would do the curse in 5 minutes non-stop. I used to that, when I was schooling. Hehe, I'm sure Taiko and Omen also know.

I was so civilized back then, even when someone said 'PUKIMAK KAU', (it's a curse, means mother's cunt, in a bad way of saying it to humiliate the mother of the cursed) I was just smiling and say 'MEMANGLAH' (yes indeed) and followed big LOLs among the rest.

Tell you, I was very really innocent. When I was in Terengganu, I used to be canned in front of the class just to say 'CELAKA' (U ARE CURSED).

In my hometown, even the teachers cursed the students using those dirty words, which reminds me of my late uncle who was a teacher at the same school. So it was curses anywhere. I guess, if it was allowed, they will have a poster like "SIAPA BUANG SAMPAH MERATA-RATA ADALAH BABI YANG DILAKNAT" (litterers are cursed pigs), but luckily they don't.

Back to being LOYAR BUROK.

Yes I learnt to fool the teachers at school too. Of course, being so young, the things I do at school, I took it home. My mom was so mad at me when I was joking about what she said and making fool of her. I don't know I just love it, especially when she gets mad.

The fact is, I can't face people who gets mad at me. So I tend to be Loyar Burok or I just LOL so that i can avoid any emotional involvement with the angry person.

When I was in form 1, I was schooling in the boarding school, and it was the last day of the orientation week. The orientation week was so like suffering, so we were hoping that it will end up fast so we can continue our life peacefully.

I was having my lunch, but as it was a tiring day, as I've just won the DressUp contest stupidly, i sat on the chair, like almost lying on it as i leaned both of my legs towards the edge of the table. I had a can of Chrysantemum Tea, to substitute the hot tea-o served by the Dining Hall.

Seeing me sitting in such a bad manner, the seniors called me up to their table. Once i reached there, they passed me their mugs and glasses and asked me to fill it up with the drink. As i passed my first batch of glasses and mugs, they became mad as they were actually asked me to fill them with the same drink i had.

I was jokingly said, 'Boleh bang, saya isi tapi pakai duit abang lah yer' (yes I can brother, but use your money).

One of them became even mad and was actually trying to slap me but he was hold by his friends and said, 'Oh Kau Loyar burok yer?' (Are you trying to fool me?). It didn't end there. They asked me to finish my meal and asked me to come over to their dormitory. I was trembling and sweating, worrying of what would happen to me.

I was punched by a Karate champion of the school, was flying-kicked, and they even hit me with the guitar, as I was jokingly saying that I know how to play the guitar but I was actually not. Since then, I tell myself to learn to play guitar till I've become quite 'OK' now hehe.

Some of the people that I'm closed with always regarded me as Loyar Burok and unserious. There was one day I was driving a lorry overloaded with Metal Scraps from Skudai to Tampoi, when this one friend called and asking what am I doing.

'I'm driving a lorry and it's pretty dangerous as it's overloaded, can I call u later?'

The friend of mine were having the laugh of his life and asking me to be serious as he's actually wanted to discuss something serious with me over the phone. I said no and when i was about to cut it off, he said wait wait wait. He even asked, 'Are you carrying fish? Do u have siakap? How much do u sell a kilo?' followed by his big laugh.

I wasn't humiliated or what so ever as we used to humiliate each other so there's no problem with it. The thing I'm worried was the 'White Horses' (traffic officers) which were seen all over the places on that day. So i told him to cut it off but as he was still holding me on the phone, there's a motorbiked traffic officer beside me asking me to stop by the highway.

Gosh! I uttered my last words 'BABI LAH ENGKAU AKU DAH KENA TAHAN DENGAN POLIS LA BONGOK!!!' (You are pig! I'm now being stopped by the police), then i hung up and talk to the policeman.

I was about to be charged with 3 offenses.

1. Talking on the mobile phone while driving without the handsfree.
2. Driving lorry without permit and license
3. The lorry is overloaded. I carried 3.9 tons on a 1 ton lorry.

I've a good PR really. Or was it me or him? Malaysian police so easy eh? Cost me only RM50, before i was asked to buzz off.

Minutes later the friend called again. He asked,

'Can you please send me one lorry of ikan siakap? Hahahahahahaha!'


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