March 10, 2005


Distant memories flooding in, i hate this feeling. It seems like no one would ever want to talk to me right now.

It was a miserable nite, as the whole shit has not gone any better. I disliked this feeling again. After so long, being worry is the first thing i would want to avoid.

I sang myself a few song, delighting my own heart to get to sleep. I really need a good rest, a whole day like a labour is tiring a lot.

Last nite i had a dream, i was in a school, schooling with all the people i love, together with their friends. I still remember faces of each of them in my dreams, how do they reacted on me, how they were smiling on me. The life was only around them.

Then I was with my brother, walking around, we were seeing and looking at other people and we had talks. The dream was so calm, as there is nothing to be worried of, u know, just being around the people you love will give you a sense of good feeling towards surroundings.

Suddenly i was awaken from my dream but i was awake in my sleep. I find myself in a sadness, with nobody around, not even my brother.

In fact, in my dream i was looking for someone.

Not there.

I was hoping that i could see that someone but i didn't.

Today, i woke up with anguish. What has gone wrong? I spite this palpability.

I'm just not being unfeigned to my so self today. I'm anemic and disabled so much. The ardor wasn't there too.

And I took rice too today. That would generalize why i am so tired today, despite of being heartsore and mournful.

I'm tired of this.. can someone help me...?

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