April 29, 2004

Yesterday :: Sadness and worries

Afternoon :: While I was on the phone with someone else, my mom called, my father was suspected to be having pneumonia....

6.00 PM :: A friend called me, asking me to meet up downstairs, she's coming down by the Putra LRT. She's gonna pay up my money she borrowed. I told her if that's troubling her, just relax, it's just a small amount of money but I was wondering why she didn't contact me or picked up my calls.

Abortion :: Yeah, the money was for the abortion, and she was so depressed, as her guilt feeling for the abortion and the person who was the father just left without any say. And reasoning to me that she was so embarassed for all the things that happened, and worst thing she intentionally didn't want to be in touch with me.

Losing a fren :: She decided not to befriend with any male and wanting for going home back in Johor. I was trying to convince her that there's nothing to be worried, i was just worried of her, and regretting the fact that actually she can share her problems with me..

Decision is Final :: She just can't. My geart was a bit boiled up, anger was all inside ma heart, and she keep wanting to leave. I slowly stood up, pay the drinks, without looking back, byed her.. and walked away.

Heard her :: Footsteps running catching up for something was heard from my back. I was blurred and sad for what happened, just walked away without thinking of anything. Someone pulled my hand from the back and it was her. With broken eyes, tears coming down she lift her hand for a shake, and say thank you for everything. I grapped her hand, lose it, disappear..

Sad :: I was so sad, depressed. I'm losing a nice friend. I've never expected her to end up like that. I kinda like her. So very much.

Why ?? :: She did that intentionally, she don't want to be my friend, she keeps wanting to leave when I want her to stay just for a while, but when I'm the one who to leave, why should she ran for me just to say thank you, even though she did? I know it's hard for her to let me walk away, but why she have to do that. I'm okay with anything. We can still be friend, I can always take her to my futsal game, we can still watch soccer together.

Say :: I was healing myself last nite. But sometimes this is just not fair. I need say from you guys..

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